Published on
1 October 2026
Living in Carol's world: Colin's story
Finding friendship, understanding and support while caring for the person he loves
Colin and Carol have been married for 57 years. They met when they were 14, on a bus in Folkestone, heading to the Caprice - a coffee bar where everyone went to hang out. They were engaged for a few years before marrying at 21. They've lived a full life together, raised children and watched grandchildren grow up.
But a few years ago, something shifted for Carol. She developed dementia.
"I got to a certain age and it just fell away," Carol said simply, describing the moment she became aware something had changed.
Learning to adapt
Colin does everything at home now - things he'd never done before. He picks out Carol's clothes each morning, hoovers, cleans, does the laundry. He has a routine and sticks to it rigidly, because structure is what keeps things manageable. "If I don't do it, it doesn't get done."
Cooking is harder. About 50 to 75 per cent of the food ends up in the bin - Carol just won't eat. But he keeps trying. Sometimes she mentions people at the pub, so they go and look for them.
"I can cope with it. But I can't understand it," Colin said. "In my life, I've always been able to sort things out. This... is beyond me."
What keeps him going is movement. He makes sure they don't stay in. They go everywhere - garden centres, National Trust places, coffee shops. Windsor is Carol's favourite. "I've done about 35,000 miles in the car. My poor little car, but it keeps her going."
The council has also helped. They installed handles in the bathroom and shower, handles outside the back and front doors, and a rail up the stairs. "They were very good - no hassle at all. They know what we need."
For Colin, knowing support is there - now and as things change - makes a difference. He's not managing this alone.
Finding his people
Colin found The Link Visiting Scheme's Link Thursdays - the Thursday coffee morning at All Saints Church in Wokingham - through a recommendation. "People kept saying, 'Try the church one.' So I did - and I think it's great."
What makes it work is simple: there are other carers. There are people who understand. "At other places, Carol will just sit quietly. Here, people talk to her and she talks back. There's always someone at your table to talk to."
While Carol engages with people at Link, Colin gets a break. He can sit with other carers and talk about what it's really like. Not the logistics or the practical stuff, but the emotional weight of it.
"Coming to Link has been very helpful for me. There are people you can talk to - people who understand. It's like a new family," Colin said.
He has family support too. His sons are there, and his five grandchildren. Carol recognises them, even if she can't remember their names. But Link has become another kind of family - people going through similar things, who don't need explanations.
Supporting the vision in your community
Colin and Carol's story shows what Social Care Future means. It's not about being alone with something that's "beyond you." It's about finding community, finding people who understand, having practical support in place.
For Colin, it means filling their days together and being busy. It means Link Thursdays, where Carol does chair yoga and people talk to her, where Colin can step away and remember he's more than a carer.
It means living together - in Carol's world and his own - with support around them both.
