Spotting the signs of domestic abuse

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Signs of an abusive relationship

It could be a sign that you're in an abusive relationship with your partner, or family member, if:

• Your time is monitored  
• Your daily life is controlled, for example: where you are able to go, who you can see, what you can wear
• You're isolated from your family and friends
• You're accused of being unfaithful
• You have ‘rules’ imposed on you about what you have to do, or not do
• You're continually belittled or put down
• You're blamed for the abuse or arguments
• You're stopped from going to college or work
• Your money is controlled, or you are not given enough to buy food or other essential items
• You feel frightened, scared or like you're 'treading on eggshells'
• Your possessions are destroyed or there are threats they will be destroyed
• Your emails, texts or letters are read
• Threats are made towards you, your children, a family pet, other family members
• You're physically hurt or made/coerced into doing things you don’t want to
• Friends or family members notice you've changed

Am I in an abusive relationship?

The Women's Aid website may help you to determine if you're in an abusive relationship.

Does my partner have a history of abuse?

If you're worried that your partner may have a history of abuse you can request a disclosure from the police through the Domestic Violence Disclosure Scheme (DVDS), often called ‘Clare’s Law’.  

To make an application call 101. Thames Valley Police will take the details and talk you through the next steps.    

For further information about the Domestic Violence Disclosure Scheme (DVDS):

• Visit the Thames Valley Police website 
• Read the domestic violence disclosure scheme (PDF document)